Castle's New Partner
by TVjas
Summary: This is my 1st fanfic. This is my version of what happens when Adam Baldwin joins the gang as Ethan Slaughter. Had to get it out here before the real episode airs.
1. Chapter 1

_I published this before but cleaned up some errors and broke it into chapters. I'm anxious to see how this compares to the real episode with Slaughter! Don't forget to review._

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Beckett grabbed her vibrating phone. She was only on it a few seconds before she called out, "Hey guys, we got a body." Esposito, Ryan, and Castle were all huddled around Esposito's desk presumably working on a case. All 3 looked up simultaneously. "Come on, let's go!" she prodded. They all broke into a light jog to get to the elevator before she left without them.

It'd been weird between her and Castle for more than a week and she didn't understand it. He still cracked jokes but there wasn't the usual twinkle in his eyes. She didn't know how many times she had asked him if everything was all right or if anything was wrong. According to him things were 'never better'. She'd wracked her brain for what she might have done to upset him, but she couldn't figure it out. The Takeover bombing case really got to him, but it was something more than that. Now she was getting annoyed by all of it. It was making the whole dynamic of the team a little weird too.

In the car, Castle rambled on about something he had read in the paper that morning. He used to talk about things that Alexis was doing or some crazy thing that his mother had planned, but he rarely spoke about them anymore.

They finally arrived at the crime scene. Lanie was already there. "Hey Lanie, what do we have?" Kate said.

"You know I just got here don't you?" Lanie glanced up at Kate with mild annoyance, but she continued. "We have a young black male with multiple GSW to the chest. I don't know a lot more right now." Lanie continued with her preliminary exam.

After a few minutes, Ryan walked up and said that he found a witness that said it was a drive by shooting. The car description was pretty sketchy and they didn't see the shooters at all.

Then a black car drove up. Esposito's eyes narrowed and he said, "Look what the cat dragged in…."

"What?" Castle said recognizing the distaste in Espo's voice.

"Gang unit," Esposito replied. "They're trouble." Castle thinks this could get interesting.

Beckett steps forward, "What are you doing here, Slaughter?"

"Got a tip," Slaughter replied with a slight shrug. He glanced around, "Who we got here?"

"This is Detectives Esposito and Ryan," Beckett said with a wave of her hand. Slaughter threw them a dismissive nod. "And this is Richard Castle," she continued, nodding in Castle's direction. A spark of recognition flashed in Slaughter's eyes. "Hey, aren't you that writer guy?" he asked.

"Yes," Castle replied, obviously pleased to be recognized. Castle stepped forward to shake his hand and Slaughter stepped forward to meet him. Castle realized then just what a big man Slaughter was. Castle was tall. It was rare for him to have to look up to meet someone's eyes, but he found himself looking up at Slaughter. He was intimidating to say the least. He was well built with at least a couple of day's worth of scruff on his face. He was wearing jeans, a rust colored T-shirt, and black leather jacket. There was a hardness to him that matched his gruff voice. He looked tougher than a lot of the criminals they took down.

"So do you like the Nikki Heat books?" Castle asked.

"No, I haven't read any of your books." Slaughter answered.

Castle looked puzzled, "Well, then…,"

"Oh, some of us at the precinct have been following your activities." Slaughter said with a sly smile. "Matter of fact, we got a pool going as to how you are going to die." Castle's shocked expression was priceless. "Yeah, we heard that you were nearly frozen to death, and almost died in an explosion, and almost drowned." Beckett could feel her cheeks heating up. She hadn't really thought about how many times Castle had almost died on her watch. "But my favorite," Slaughter continued almost gleefully, "was when you were nearly eaten by a tiger! Did I miss any?" Slaughter didn't wait for an answer. He strode over to the body.

"Hey, Parish" he said squatting down next to the M.E.

"Hey yourself, Ethan. This could be one of your boys. Looks like gang tattoos." She pointed to the tattoo on the boy's neck. "He took several to the chest. Driver's license says his name is Treshaen Martin, 18 years old." Lanie shook her head slightly never understanding why kids had to cross her autopsy table just when their lives should be starting.

Slaughter's jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed. He looked at Lanie. "I know him. He wasn't really a bad kid. Just in bad circumstances."

Ethan straightened up and faced Beckett. "Looks like this is my case." It wasn't a suggestion. He almost seemed to be daring Beckett to argue with him.

Beckett's lips parted as she was about to protest, but she remembered the 2 murders they were already working on and this certainly seemed to be gang related, "For once I think I agree with you." Beckett conceded. "We're done here." She motioned for her crew to follow her. They all turned to leave.

"Hey, Castle!" Slaughter yelled. "Wanna see how real cops operate?"

Castle turned around, eyes wide with excitement, "Really?"

"Hell yeah. Meet me tomorrow morning at the precinct." Slaughter smiled.

"Yeah, right. See you…tomorrow." Castle could barely contain his excitement.

He turned back around to Beckett and the boys. "Isn't that awesome!"

"I don't think it's a good idea, bro" Esposito responded. "I'm telling you he's trouble."

"What?" Castle couldn't believe they weren't happy for him.

Beckett stepped in front of Castle. He could see the concern in her eyes. "Castle, really you don't want to mess with this guy. He's not like the cops you've been around."

"You mean he's dirty?" Castle asked.

Beckett shook her head. "No, I'm not saying that, but he makes his own rules. And you don't exactly fit into the seamier side of town," she said looking him over. Castle glanced down at his clothes. "You may have a point there but I can dress down and be a little more streetwise."

"Castle, I really don't want you to do this. I don't think it's safe." Castle could see the sincerity in her eyes, but he couldn't help giving her a jab. "Well, apparently I'm not that safe on your team." Beckett looked like he had stabbed her and she quickly averted her eyes. Castle instantly regretted saying it. He softened his voice, "Don't worry. I'll be OK." She glanced up at his softened tone and saw the spark in his eyes that she hadn't seen for quite a while. Maybe she was over-reacting. Maybe this is what he needed to get him out of the funk he's been in. Maybe, maybe, it seemed like she was constantly playing the maybe game. She sighed, "Have it your way, Castle."

Castle went home that night feeling better than he had in a while. He had something to look forward to. He hated to admit that his mother was right, but he was discovering that he really couldn't work with Beckett any more. He felt like he was dying a little every day. Most of his jokes were zingers devoid of humor. He knew he was making Beckett miserable. Part of him felt like she deserved it but mostly he felt bad about what a jerk he'd been. He just hurt so much he couldn't stop himself. He knew in his heart that for whatever reason she had lied to him, it certainly wasn't meant to hurt him.

Most nights he couldn't face Alexis and his mother. He was too transparent to them. It was too exhausting to try to put on a happy face for them. He'd been hitting the bars every night, drinking and picking up women. The drinking was to dull the pain and the women were to distract his mind. A few times he got really lucky and met a woman that had a good sense of humor and was interesting. He never took any of them home. He just wanted a few hours of distracting conversation that would take his thoughts away from Beckett. He would get home after Alexis and Martha were in bed and just crash, catching a few hours of ragged sleep before he dragged himself back to the precinct. He knew he was often bleary eyed and unshaven. He just didn't care much any more.

Tonight he was home in time for supper. "Richard, I must say you seem to be in a good mood tonight," Martha observed approvingly. Castle knew she wanted to ask questions but was showing remarkable restraint so far.

"Well Mother, we're starting a new case tomorrow and I think it will be very interesting. I don't have many details yet, but I'm really looking forward to it." Castle managed a slight smile. He didn't want to tell her he was going off with the gang unit. He was afraid that would worry her so the fewer the details the better. That night was the most normal night they had had as a family in a while.

4


	2. Chapter 2

Castle was joking with the boys when Slaughter showed up. The two guys following him looked like thugs, but they were part of his team. "Hey Castle, you ready?" Slaughter called out.

Castle could barely contain his excitement as he turned around. "Oh yes quite ready," he said clapping his hands together.

"These are my guys, Masters and Bates." Slaughter said nodding towards the guys.

"You're kidding, right?" Castle said with a smirk sure Slaughter was pulling his leg.

Masters got right up in Castle's face, "What's your problem?" he practically yelled. Esposito and Ryan immediately took a step forward.

Castle put his hands up and backed away, "Oh sorry…the names…never mind." He wasn't getting off on the right foot with his new team. Slaughter clapped Castle on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Castle. They're always catching grief about their names." He leaned in a little closer. "They can be a little touchy about it." Slaughter said lowering his voice.

"Yeah I caught that." Castle replied.

"Well, OK then. Let's get out of here," Slaughter said.

Castle turned back to his old team and gave a brief wave of his hand. "Hey guys, wish me luck."

"You'll need it," Esposito mumbled as Ryan said, "Yeah, see ya Castle." Beckett just stared with her lips pursed in disapproval.

Out on the street Castle followed Slaughter to his car. "You're kidding - this is your ride?" Castle questioned practically drooling over the jet black '85 Monte Carlo SS. It had custom chrome wheels with low profile tires and was so shiny Castle could see his reflection. "What's it got in it?"

Slaughter's eyes lit up. "She's got a 454 big block. It's a thing of beauty." He was practically stroking the car's roof. "This is my one true love," he said his eyes lovingly scanning her. His eyes met Castles, "I call her Vera."

"Vera is awesome," Castle exclaimed appreciatively. He was going to enjoy cruising around in Vera. He was already enjoying his new gig. Maybe they could even get in a car chase!

Castle was mindful that he was here to research the gang unit – cases, procedures, the gangs, but most importantly the guys in the unit. He had to know what made them tick. He started asking questions – lots of them. Ethan was 50 much to Castle's surprise. He had guessed him to be early to mid 40s. He'd worked in Vice & Homicide but the Gang Unit seemed to fit him best. He'd been doing this 10 years.

Finally Ethan looked at him in annoyance. "You're like one of those yippy little dogs that never shuts up!"

"I can do quiet. As a matter of fact one time I…" he caught a glare from Slaughter. "Shutting up now," he said sheepishly.

They pulled up in front of a rundown apartment building. "The boy that was killed lived here," Ethan explained. "We'll start with his family, see if they know anything about what is going on. My boys are checking with some of our CIs." They found the apartment and knocked. A woman in her mid-thirties answered the door, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. Slaughter flashed his badge and introduced himself not bothering to mention Castle. "We'd like to ask you some questions."

She opened the door for them to enter. "Treshaen was my son. He was a good boy, but he got involved with that gang and I knew he didn't belong to me anymore." Her eyes were welling up. "What do you need to know?"

Castle glanced around the shabby apartment a little glad that she hadn't invited them to sit down. There were two young girls playing in the corner and a boy about 10 or 11 eyeing them suspiciously from the doorway. His eyes were puffy too.

Slaughter started talking again, "I saw Treshaen had a tattoo on his neck. It looked like a gang tattoo. Do you know what gang he was in…I'm sorry what was your name?"

"Trella," she replied. "He was in this gang called the Grunts. I don't know much about them or Treshaen's involvement. He would stay away for days at a time and didn't talk to me much when he was here."

Slaughter nodded. He thought that was the Grunts tattoo but there were so many gang spin-offs it was hard to keep up with them all. "Do you know if he was having any trouble with anyone in particular?"

Trella looked down obviously pained that she couldn't help, "I'm sorry I don't know who he's been around or even who any of the other gang members are."

Slaughter said, "That's OK. Mind if I talk to your son here?"

She hesitated for a moment, then said, "Sure. I'll be in the kitchen. I have something on the stove."

Ethan looked at the boy, "What's your name?"

"Ledell," the boy answered a little defiantly. Slaughter smiled. He knew what an imposing figure he was, especially to a child and he liked this kid's spunk.

"Come on over here. I'd like to talk to you." Ethan said. The boy took a couple of steps forward. His jaw was set but you could see in his eyes he was a little frightened. Ethan squatted down to be on Ledell's level. "My name is Ethan. Glad to know you," he said holding out his hand to be shaken. Ledell took a couple more steps forward and shook his hand.

"Ledell, I'm trying to find out exactly what happened to your brother," he confided to the boy. "Did he ever talk to you about his friends or enemies?"

Ledell gazed into Ethan's eyes. "He told me he joined a gang. I thought it was cool but he made me promise I would never join a gang. He said being in a gang seemed cool at first but it was really a bad thing. I heard him talking a couple of nights ago about trouble they was having with the DAPS."

Slaughter nodded, "Your brother is right about gangs. They are very bad. Do you know anything else that might help me?"

Ledell clenched his fists, "I know I'll kill whoever killed my brother!" Tears were welling up in his eyes with the hate that he was feeling.

Slaughter's gaze was steady, "Ledell, It's my job to get your brother's killer. Your brother told you to stay away from gangs because he wanted you to stay safe. If he were here now, you know what he would say?" Ledell shook his head. "He would say to let Ethan handle it because that's his job. You know what else he would say?" Ledell shook his head again. "He would say that you're the big brother now. You have to help your little sisters remember Treshaen. You have to stay alive to help your Mom and make sure she doesn't have to be this sad ever again." He put his hand on Ledell's shoulder. "I think you're strong enough to do that, don't you?" Ledell nodded this time. "Good," Ethan said as he straightened up. "I'm going to give you my card that has my phone number on it. You can call me anytime about anything." He handed the boy his card. "We can just talk if you want to or I can even buy you a burger. Deal?" He held out his hand. Ledell looked at him a little warily, but shook his hand and said, "Deal."

Slaughter looked up and saw Trella standing in the doorway. "Ma'am," he nodded at her and turned to leave, Castle tagging along behind.

Back in the car Castle said, "You were really good with that kid."

"I try to throw them a lifeline while they're still young enough to use it. I talked to Treshaen a couple of years ago when he got into a little bit of trouble. We had a brief connection but he didn't want to keep it up. Most of them don't want to hang out with a cop." Slaughter paused for a couple of minutes. "You know I was a troubled kid in high school. I was always big so nobody tried to bully me. Matter of fact, everyone was scared of me and I liked it that way. My dad was an alcoholic and would smack us around when he was drunk. I remember good times too. He taught me to play ball." Slaughter paused again before going on, "He committed suicide when I was a sophomore. No matter what, you always love your dad." Castle didn't know about that. He never knew his father and the only guys his mother brought around didn't want anything to do with him. He wasn't sure how much money he'd been given over the years to 'get lost'.

"I pretty much hated everybody and was angry all the time. You'll never guess who threw me a lifeline." He glanced at Castle.

"I'm guessing a cop," Castle replied.

Slaughter laughed, "No, there was this little geeky rich kid at school. For some reason he thought I was interesting. He started talking to me. I'd ignore him and tell him to get lost and even tried to scare him away, but he kept coming back always talking about one thing or another and asking me questions. I finally got used to him being around and we eventually became great friends. That one friend turned my life around. You remind me of that geeky little rich kid." He said shooting a glance Castle's way.

"Geeky, really?" Castle asked. Everything about Slaughter was surprising him.

"Really," Ethan answered.

Slaughter and Castle met up with Slaughter's guys in a park. Bates explained that the street talk had the Ukranians involved in a drive-by. They couldn't find out a possible motive. Slaughter told them the kid brother had mentioned the DAPS which was Dominican. Masters said the Grunts hadn't been any help just saying they'd take care of their own.

"Why don't you guys check out the Ukranians and Castle and I will talk to the DAPS." Slaughter said.

Slaughter drove to an empty warehouse that he said the DAPS sometimes used. Not only were all the windows broken out, but some of the old brick appeared to be crumbling. It looked like it was about ready to fall down.

"OK, you hang back behind me and let me do the talking." Slaughter ordered. Castle nodded.

They walked in the building but had to stand there for a minute to let their eyes adjust. There were still crates and big machinery scattered around. It was quiet. Maybe no one was here. Slaughter cautiously walked ahead, Castle a few steps behind. Castle heard a noise behind him and turned just in time to see a guy swinging a board at him. He quickly tried to jump back but the board connected with his forehead with a sickening thud. Castle dropped to the ground dazed. Slaughter dispatched the attacker with one quick punch to the face.

"You OK Castle?" Slaughter asked extending his arm to help Castle up.

"Just great," Castle replied a little sarcastically. The blood was already streaming down his face and his head hurt like hell.

Slaughter pulled him to his feet. Immediately Castle shoved him yelling, "Gun!" Slaughter had his gun out before he hit the floor. When the first shot rang out, Castle slammed into the crate behind him. There was a puzzled look on his face as he slid to the floor. He looked down and saw red starting to spread out across his shirt. He looked back up and saw Slaughter firing his gun. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. He thought it would be better if he could get behind a nearby crate, but when he tried to move he only succeeded in falling over on his side. He didn't know how much time elapsed before Slaughter appeared over him.

"How you doing, Little Buddy?" Slaughter asked. Castle wondered who his little buddy was. "Come on can you get up?"

"Yeah," Castle answered his voice sounding funny to him. Slaughter grabbed his arm and dragged him to his feet. Castle gave a combined groan and gasp as the pain shot through him. The little pinpoints of light exploding in front of his eyes gave way to darkness as he started to slump. Slaughter quickly dropped his shoulder to catch Castle as he fell and hoisted him up in a fireman's carry.

"You're not dying on my watch Castle!" Slaughter announced. He carried Castle outside. He could already hear the sirens approaching. The warehouse was on fire. They apparently walked into a meth lab. He never saw it, but he could smell it when they got a little further in. When it was obvious they were going to fight back, the attackers must have set fire in the lab before they fled. Slaughter was surprised there hadn't been an explosion yet. Before long there were police cars, fire engines, and ambulances on the scene.

5


	3. Chapter 3

Beckett had had a long morning. She kept glancing at Castle's empty chair next to her desk. She missed him when he wasn't there but it was worse this time knowing that he could possibly be in danger. Ryan caught her staring at the chair once and said, "You know, Castle is pretty resourceful. He'll be fine."

Beckett looked up with a slight smile, but she couldn't believe how easily they could read her.

She got up and headed to the break room for more coffee. Beckett was filling up her mug when she heard the TV.

"Breaking news. Famed mystery novelist, Richard Castle, has been shot," Beckett dropped her mug as she spun toward the TV, "while shadowing a police detective for research on his next book. We don't have any information on his condition, but there is some amateur footage of the chaotic scene." The video was jumpy and at first showed a warehouse on fire, then it zoomed in on a stretcher. There were people between the stretcher and cameraman that often blocked the view but she caught a brief glimpse of what she assumed was Castle's face. The face was so covered in blood she couldn't be sure it was him but somehow she knew it was him. Her hand flew to her mouth. Esposito had rushed to the break room when he heard the mug shatter. Beckett turned in his direction and he instinctively reached for his gun when he saw the terror in her eyes. "What is it?" He asked not seeing any danger in the room.

"Castle's been shot!" she blurted out. "They just showed it on TV. It looks like a head wound."

Ryan had arrived to hear the announcement, "My God," was all he could say.

"I've got to go to the hospital. You tell Gates what happened and where I am." Just then Beckett's phone vibrated. It was Alexis. She was panicked. "Is Dad alive?" she practically yelled with a quivering voice.

Beckett braced herself and tried to sound as calm and professional as she could. "Alexis, he wasn't with me today. I'm afraid I don't know any more than you do, but I will find out and get back to you." Beckett started to rush out of the room.

Esposito grabbed her arm. "You're in no shape to drive. I'll drive you." Beckett nodded knowing that he was right. Esposito turned on the siren and sped to the hospital as fast as he could.

Kate was trying to hold it together. Would she be too late to ever tell him how she felt? Even if he survived he might never be the same again if he has brain damage. She closed her eyes and tried to push the bad thoughts out of her head. "Please God, let him be alive."

Her plan was to walk in there like she owned the place. At the ER desk she flashed her badge, "Detective Beckett, NYPD. I need to see Richard Castle. He was admitted a little while ago."

The nurse didn't even have to look it up. "Mr. Castle is in E5. Through the double doors." She said pointing. Kate pushed through the door, her jaw clenched, her fists clenched. She was literally steeling herself for what she was about to see. She took a deep breath and opened the door to E5.

Beckett's jaw dropped open. Castle was sitting up in bed writing on a piece of paper. "There you go Marcy," he said to the nurse handing her the paper.

"Thanks," Marcy gushed. "I really love the Nikki Heat books!" She glanced at Beckett and apparently decided it was time to leave. "I'll check back in a few minutes."

Beckett was stunned. This isn't what she expected to find, Castle sitting there giving autographs! He had a gauze bandage taped to his forehead. The blood was cleaned off his face, but there was still a fair amount matting his hair. "Castle are you alright?" she finally found her voice.

"Oh yeah. Morphine makes everything so much better," he said with a goofy grin. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you were shot." Suddenly there was a huge rush of relief that flooded through her now that she realized that he was going to be OK. All the emotions that she had been repressing were suddenly exploding in her and she couldn't hold it in any more. "Rick, I thought you…," that's all she could choke out before her face contorted with the effort to hold her tears back. She turned her back to Castle as though he wouldn't realize she was crying.

Castle scooted to sit on the edge of the bed wincing with the effort. "Kate," he said softly. "Kate, come here." He knew exactly how she was feeling because he had been in her spot just a few months ago when she had been shot. She turned with tears streaming down her face. He opened his arms up for her, "Come here," he repeated. She fell into his arms and started sobbing uncontrollably. "Just let it out," Castle said soothingly. He held her close his right hand lightly stroking her back, his cheek nestling in her hair. Even though her body was tense and wracked with sobs, it felt wonderful to hold her. After all the tension and heartbreak of the past couple of weeks, it was almost surreal to have her in his arms. He could smell her hair, a wonderful soft floral scent. He pressed her a little closer not wanting to ever let her go. He had been a fool not to talk to her when he found out that she had lied. She obviously had feelings for him. He smiled to himself as he felt his hospital gown growing wet under her face.

Beckett's sobs started to subside. His arms held her firmly but gently. She could feel his heart beating and its steady rhythm helped to calm her. His heart that just a short time ago she feared had been quieted forever. She had wanted to be in his arms for so long and now here she was blubbering with a death grip on him like he was a life preserver. Still it was wonderful to be in his arms. She felt so protected and comforted. She always had to be the one in control, the strong one. Never accepting help from anyone. She was surprised how easy it was for her to fall into his arms and just let herself go. She relaxed a little. Her hand slid a little down his back stopping when she felt a bandage. "Castle, how many times were you shot?" She leaned back to look in his eyes. Her eyes filled with concern.

"Just once here on my left side. Bullet went clean through me." He touched the spot on his hospital gown.

"But what about your head?" Beckett was confused thinking all along he had been shot in the head.

"I got whacked in the head with a 2x4. I think it may have knocked some sense into me." He said with a smile.

"Oh Castle, when I saw it on the news, I…," Beckett started off, but Castle stiffened up, grabbed her arms and almost shook her.

"It was on the news?" he demanded in a panicked voice. "Where's your phone?" Beckett suddenly remembered Alexis and knew why Castle was in a panic. She quickly handed over her phone.

Castle punched the numbers in as fast as he could. Alexis answered immediately," Is he OK?" she asked in a scared, tearful voice. Castle's face fell as he realized how much pain he'd caused her.

"Honey, it's me," he said calmly and quietly. "I'm fine – I'm going to be fine. They're going to keep me at the hospital at least one night for tests and observation, but I'm OK. Does Gram know?" He listened for a minute, "OK, I don't have a regular room yet. I'm still in the ER now, but really I'm fine. Why don't you wait until I get settled in my room before you come to see me? I'll call you later when they transfer me. You'll have to bring me some clothes so I can get out of here tomorrow. Honey, I'm so sorry to worry you. I would have called sooner but didn't realize it had been on TV." Another pause. "I love you too. I'll talk to you later."

"Sometimes being famous is a real problem," He said to Beckett returning her phone.

"Oh, I need to get Javi. He's in the waiting room," Beckett suddenly remembered.

"Um, you might want to stop by the restroom before you go out there," Castle said motioning around his eyes. "There is one around the corner."

Beckett realized she must look like a real mess after all the crying. She was sure mascara was smeared all over her face, but she looked at Castle and said with a slight smile, "Hey have you looked at your face lately?" She called Javi on the phone and told him Castle was OK and to come on back while she went to the restroom. She also called the precinct to let Ryan and Gates know that everything was OK. When she got back to Castle's room, Esposito was getting ready to leave. Castle was lying back in his bed. He looked rather pale.

"Glad you're OK, bro," Esposito was saying. He looked at Beckett when she came in noting her swollen eyes. "I need to get back to the precinct. Are you coming?" He was unsure if things were still awkward between her and Castle.

"No, I want to stay a little longer. I already called the precinct and let them know he's fine," Beckett informed him. Esposito nodded and left.

"OK, Castle, what happened?" She was already getting angry with Slaughter.

Castle gazed steadily at her, "Well, Detective, it's kind of hard to remember exactly what happened what with me getting shot and all." For a second she didn't understand what he meant, but then she finally connected the dots. Castle must have heard her interrogating the bombing suspect when she said she remembered every second of her shooting. He'd been mad at her because she'd lied to him.

"Oh, Castle you heard me in interrogation, didn't you?" Castle nodded. "I'm so sorry I lied. I just didn't know how to respond to that and…" she looked down briefly. When her eyes came back up they were glistening. "I was afraid if we talked about it that you would take it back and tell me you only said you loved me because I was dying, and I was afraid to admit my feelings because I was trying to work through the PTSD. I didn't mean to hurt you. Surely you didn't think I was trying to hurt you?"

"I thought the reason you lied was because you didn't feel the same way. " Castle said. Beckett could see the pain in his eyes and knew that it wasn't from the shooting. She had ripped his heart out and he still came back to the precinct every day. Now she understood why he had been pulling away and sometimes even nasty to her. "You need to tell me if I need to move on, Kate. I can't keep going on like this, but if you need more time, I can give you time." His eyes were imploring her. "I just need to know that there is a chance for us to have a future. A future outside the precinct," he added wanting to be sure he wasn't misunderstood.

Beckett swallowed hard, biting her lip, "Oh, Rick, I'm so sorry. I don't want you to move on. I need you. I'm still working on my issues, but there's no point if you're not in my life. These last couple of weeks have been so hard. All I knew was that you were pulling away from me. "

Castle reached for her hand. Suddenly the door burst open. Slaughter strode over to Castle's side. "How's my little buddy doing?" He asked cheerily.

"I'm doing good. I should be released tomorrow," Castle replied. Beckett actually thought he looked pleased to see Slaughter.

Slaughter looked at Beckett, "Dang how do you keep up with all the paperwork that working with this guy generates?"

"He doesn't have to be admitted to the hospital when he's working with me." Beckett said stepping forward her voice rising. "He nearly died with you!"

Slaughter raised his hands in mock defense. "Ooo, Mama Bear is getting angry," he said with a smirk on his face.

Beckett continued, pointing her finger for emphasis, her voice quite loud, "And how did he get beaten and shot and you don't even have a scratch on you?" Slaughter's clothes were covered in blood but she assumed it was all Castle's.

Slaughter shrugged, "Hell, you always send the newbies in first." His eyes were full of mischief.

"Kate!" Castle said sharply. He could see she was about to go ballistic. His tone made her stop and look at him. He continued in a normal voice, "Kate, he's just messing with you."

Kate glared at Slaughter. He loved to push people's buttons. She really despised him. As a matter of fact, most people despised him. How did he and Castle get so buddy-buddy in less than a day's time?

Slaughter clasped Castle's hand. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing OK. You can work with me anytime you want." He turned to Beckett and winked. "See you around, Beckett."

5


End file.
